Wednesday, October 7, 2009

*Sigh* A Trichotillomania Relapse

I've been so good lately. My mother even commented on how nice my eyelashes look. I guess a relapse had to come sooner or later.

I've been doing editing work at my desk rather than on the computer today, so that's the culprit. When I'm on the computer, my hands are engaged, typing, using the mouse, so I'm less likely to pull. Since I'm staring down at my desk editing today, my hands are bored and so start pulling automatically. I've pulled at least 15 hairs in the last hour. Then I started doing my typical Internet research: looking for articles on eyelash follicles (what the colors mean), eyelash mites, and the relationship between trichotillomania and endorphins. I just find it fascinating, as I know other trichsters do, and I think it makes me feel more in control to learn about the specifics of my inner demons.

Does anyone else feel bad for their eyelash mites? I feel like I viciously evict them each time I pull out an eyelash. They're my poor, unsuspecting tenants, and I'm the evil landlord.

Eyelash mite

Image source:


Anonymous said...

I am 23 years old and since the age of 8 I have been a chronic eyebrow and eyelash puller. I have been relapse free for the past 3 months since I started using Latisse. Occasionally I pick at my eyebrows but so far not my eyelashes (knock on wood). I had gone to all types of doctors including psychiatrists and no one wanted to help and especially did not want to provide any form of medication. Meds that probably wouldn't have helped anyway. The problem with myself was that I liked pulling out my eyelashes. It didn't hurt me and it was fun and relaxing...I wanted eyelashes but I also wanted to pick them out. Worse was that I was aware that I picked them out. It was only on occasion that I absent mindedly picked them. My success story not only came with the use of latisse, but years ago when I decided to tell people close to me what I had been doing all along and why i didn't have eyelashes. Just telling someone was the first step to healing. The more I would think about picking out my eyelashes and then the fact that I didn't have any made me more anxious...and I pulled even more out. Latisse however, has changed my life! I work in a pharmacy and tried it the second it became available. The greatest thing about it was not even the fact that it helped grow the minuscule eyelashes I had, and produce more lashes, but the physical application of the product every night made me aware that there was something on my eyes. My secret goal each day was to let the meds/drops on my eyelids work. I was conscious and aware all day that I was helping to grow my eyelashes. The more days that went by...the longer I had gone without picking any out. The habit of picking my eyelashes out has since dissolved and eyebrows has significantly diminished. I now have eyelashes to put mascara on, but they are so long, and full I don't need any eye makeup at all... I don't even have to use latisse everyday anymore...I only used it everyday for the first 3 weeks or so. I now have very few if any urges to pick out my eyelashes and if I do get the urge, I can stop myself and apply even just a small application of latisse and I am reminded not to pick them out. Also, the Latisse seems to make my eyelids slightly more tender than before I began using it...this however, is actually a good thing for eyelash pickers like me...If it hurts to pull them out, I am less likely to do so. I love having eyelashes!! I even felt like less of a woman without them. Having them is so important to make yourself feel beautiful. Now if I could only find something to make my breasts grow...!

WanderingSophie said...

I never did before, but now that you mention it >_>

WanderingSophie said...

... feel bad for the eyelash/brow mites that is. Sorry little guys >_<

Anonymous said...
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Moose said...

It is really depressing when you slip. I had my eyelashes back for months and had no urge to pull at all and then things got rough at home and now they are gone. At first I just cried, because I had started a new school and nobody there had seen me w/ out eyelashes. I am still in a funk, but I want it bad enough that I know it will happen. No such chance with my eyebrows though, its a good thing I am blonde. :(

Hannah said...

Ahh Im do glad you brought up Latisse! My mom had been talking about it, but a doctor said that it probably wouldn't work. Now that Ive heard a success story Ill ask her to buy some :)

Anonymous said...

Eyelash mites? Yuck! I saw a microscopic picture of them last week and it really grossed me out and made me want to pull more, to be honest. They just look so gross and...dirty.

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