Trichotillomania Humor

Cause you gotta laugh at yourself, right? Or at least at me.

Which character in Gone With the Wind had trichotillomania?
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Scarlett No'Hair-a!!!!

Isn't that so awful and corny it makes you wanna hit me?

I haven't posted in awhile. I actually got pretty busy at my job (imagine that) and haven't had time to think of a good trich post lately.

I've been playing around with medication lately. I don't recommend it. Originally I was taking Prozac, but that didn't seem to be helping at all. Over a year ago I switched to Cymbalta. First I took 30mg a day. Then my doctor increased me to 60mg. Then she increased me to 120mg, which I was not very happy about. That's the highest dosage that's considered "safe," although Cymbalta is new enough that there's not even a generic yet, so really they don't know anything about long-term effects. I decided on my own to go back to 60, because I didn't really notice a difference between 120 and 60, and I figured I may as well have as little unnecessary medication in my body as possible. I was doing really well for awhile, but of course there's no way to know if improvement is from the medication or just from adjusting my habits. Maybe both.

But today I had a major relapse, pulling from areas on my eyelids where I don't even usually pull, so I'm feeling pretty down on myself today. As trichsters know, there's nothing quite like the ashamed and angry feeling after a major pulling spree and the helplessness that comes from knowing there's nothing you can do to bring those eyelashes back except wait and wait and try not to pull anymore.

Post-holiday pulling

The holidays have come and gone since my last post, and coming back to work today has given me a new Trichy topic to discuss. I've been good without even trying throughout the entire holiday. I haven't had the urge to pull, either eyelashes or eyebrows (not in a pulling spree situation, anyway) throughout my vacation; in fact, I hadn't thought about my trichotillomania once until my friends commented on New Year's Eve how great my eyelashes look. Yet I've been at work barely a half hour when I immediately start compulsively pulling my eyebrows.

I've discussed on this blog before that reading, typing, editing, any task in which my mind is active but my body is sedentary triggers my trichotillomania, and I'm sure that's why I've started again. What surprised me was the immediacy of the change in my behavior. It's as though my trichotillomania was on a holiday schedule along with the rest of the world, and now it's back to business as usual.

Know Thyself - Trichotillomania and the Bible

I'm not much into Biblical allusions, but I am into pithy aphorisms that give great advice. "Know Thyself" is excellent advice for trichsters. You have to be self-aware and recognize your triggers for pullling.

For me, I know that when I lean my elbows on a desk, table, or any flat surface that I'm using to read or work, my hand is at just the right position to reach my eyelashes. And that's a bad thing. So I try to read with my arms stretched out, leaning back. Just to be safe, I put something small in both hands to try to distract them from the compulsion to pull. Because I know myself. If I prevent myself from starting, it's much easier to continue than if I try to stop in the middle of a pulling spree.

Do you know thyself?

Trichotillomania: Body and Mind Disparity

Whether you have trichotillomania or not, I'm sure that every person has, at one time or another, experienced a time when your body and mind did not cooperate with each other. When your mind was telling (or shouting at, or pleading with) your body to do something, or to stop doing something, and your body refused to listen.

That's what trich is all about. Intellectually, you know that you shouldn't pull your hair out. You can think of many, many reasons why you shouldn't. For me, I'm shouting at myself in my own head WHILE I'm pulling. STOP! Don't pull another eyelash! But my fingers won't stop. I have to physically restrain myself to end the pulling. Because mentally restraining myself so often just isn't enough.

We think that, as humans, we are superior to animals because we have intelligent minds and rational thinking. We pride ourselves on our self-control, our ability to deny what our bodies crave. Maybe our bodies are more powerful than we realize.

Trichotillomania Advice: KEEP YOUR HANDS BUSY

If you are like me, then your unconscious tendency to begin pulling comes from extra tension and energy trapped in your body. For me, it's worst when I'm concentrating hard with my mind. My mental energy is being expended, which leaves me with unused physical energy that often manifests itself in pulling out my hair.

Take charge of that excess energy. This is my biggest tip. Keep your hands busy doing something other than pulling out your hair. Preferably keep them far away from whatever area you may be tempted to pull. Since I pull out my eyelashes, I keep my hands busy by twirling my hair around and around my fingers. Doing so doesn't give me a chance to start pulling because my hands are so busy doing something else. Obviously, this is probably not the best idea if you're a scalp puller.

I also found an interesting and positive website with a lot of information about trichotillomania. They're trying to get you to enter their program (not for free, of course), but the site is beneficial, I think, even if you just read the info: The BrightLife Center for the Rapid Relief of Trichotillomania.

You are not a victim. It may feel like trichotillomania is controlling your life, pushing you into an unescapable corner. I often feel like that. But you must remember that while suffering from trich is not a choice, taking steps towards relief is.

Trichotillomania: Cycles of Destruction

I've been away from the blog sites for awhile, but I have excuses. I graduated from college in May, then I was job searching. I have a new job now as an editorial assistant, and my life has been in a bit of a whirlwind.

With work comes stress and, unfortunately, sometimes boredom. As an assistant, I don't always have that much to do, and when I'm bored, I pull. Part of editing also involves reading and concentrating. When I read, I pull. So I've been pretty bad lately. I have some bald patches, particularly on my right eyelids, because I started pulling and got into a cycle of destruction.

Pull one eyelash ↓ ↑     Irritate the skin ↓ ↑         Pull more eyelashes because it itches ↓ ↑             Itching worsens ↓ ←←←←←←←←←←←

Life, just like pulling, goes in cycles. Cause and effect. Every element of the cycle affects another, and more often than not, brings us back to the beginning.

Just my profound thought for the day.

Unfortunate realization about Trichotillomania

I've come to an unfortunate realization. I guess in a way I knew it all along, but now that I'm trying to deny myself the "pleasure" of pulling out my eyelashes, I've come to realize that in my convoluted brain, it really is a pleasure pulling out my eyelashes. It feels good. I don't know why it feels good, and it seems counterintuitive for something bad for your body to feel good at the same time. I guess it's the same principle as eating foods that are good for your tastebuds but bad for your arteries.

Evolution hasn't quite worked out all the kinks.

Trichotillomania Suggestion, seemingly obvious

I've found the simplest act sometimes works to stop or at least delay pulling. Especially if you're in the middle of a pulling spree.

My suggestion, obvious as it may seem, is to change something about your environment. When I'm pulling eyelashes, sometimes I have to get up and take my contact lenses out. Maybe sit up if you are lying down. File your nails. Put on a ring. Change your hairstyle. Put on hand lotion. Take a shower.


Pulling is all about the repetition, the monotony. Break the pattern and take control by changing something that you have control over.

Pulling Piles: The Unsightly Reminders of Trichotillomania

What do you do with the hair once it's no longer attached to your scalp/eyelid/brow/[insert body part here]?

I put it in piles. Sometimes the pile goes on my desk, and I see a nest of tiny, spiky, black lashes in front of my computer. Sometimes I let them fall into the binding of the book I'm reading, for me to find later. When I pull in front of a mirror, I put the sticky end of the eyebrows/eyelashes onto the wall or door, a vertical pulling pile.

I have certain spots where I always pull. Trichsters are nothing if not creatures of habit. I make giant piles of lashes and eyebrows, the remnants of multiple pulling instances. The piles are like memories of me, evidence that I have been there. Maybe it would be better for my health if I just scrawled, "LASHES WAS HERE" in big letters.

Part of my trich is an obsession with everything being "right." In that way, I do see the resemblance with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. I pull new, tiny hairs because they feel stubbly and like they don't belong there. I feel the tiny hair, either with my fingertips or because my eyelid itches, and I really really really want to pull it out. It doesn't "feel right." It doesn't belong. In my mind.

The piles are part of that obsession with feeling right and looking right. It's hard to explain. I want everything in its place, in the right place. It doesn't "look right" for a random eyelash here, an eyebrow there. The forlorn, fallen follicles (I love alliteration) need to stay together.


This is my attempted rationalization. I tried to explain some of my internal reasonings to a psychologist once. In reference to one particular rationalization, I said, "I guess that one makes a little more sense." His insensitive, abrupt response?

"Well, none of it makes sense to me."

That was the last time I went to see him.

I guess I understand now what he was trying to do - show me that, for all my rationalizing, trichotillomania isn't something rational, isn't something I should make excuses for, isn't "normal" behavior. In fact, it's destructive behavior. We have hair for a reason.

But he could have been a little more sensitive.

Self-discovery about my Trichotillomania

I think that one of the most important ways to deal with having trich (or any kind of disorder) is to be aware of the ways it affects you. I made a discovery about my trichy tendencies today.

I was doing some reading (one of my biggest pulling triggers) on the couch in my apartment. I was eating Cheez-its out of the box in a very repetitive way. Hand goes in the box, hand goes to my mouth. Lather, rinse, repeat. When I had finished off the box, I realized that I hadn't pulled any hairs out since starting to eat the crackers. Maybe the cheesy goodness was distracting me, but I think that part of why snacking appeared to replace pulling was because of the repetitive nature of it.

Pulling out eyelashes, for me, is a repetitive action. I pull, look at the hair, rub it between my fingers, flick it away. Pull, look, rub, flick. Over and over. Sometimes, like when I'm snacking, I replace that behavior of my hands with something else. I think this might be a key in replacing my pulling compulsion with something else. Maybe not eating constantly, because that's not much healthier than pulling out eyelashes.

If you can recognize when you pull and, just as importantly, when you DON'T pull, I think that is one of the first steps to changing your behavior. If any other trichsters read this blog, when do you pull? When don't you?