What do you call a boy scout with trichotillomania?
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A BALD EAGLE!!!!!
See my other equally-bad JOKE!
If you can't laugh at yourself...
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Friday, October 3, 2008
Trich Journaling
I was really bad with eyelashes just now. I just pulled out like 10 from the same spot unintentionally. I was trying to pull with the tweezers, enough to get the endorphins but not enough to actually pull them out. Needless to say, I failed miserably. Now I feel even worse. I have a giant bald patch on my left eyelid now. I’m even more anxious because I can’t put them back. I feel like I want to take an extra Cymbalta but I know I shouldn’t mess with that stuff. Should I hide it with eyeliner or punish myself by just looking bald?
JG8D69D
Friday, August 8, 2008
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
Trichotillomania Advice: KEEP YOUR HANDS BUSY
If you are like me, then your unconscious tendency to begin pulling comes from extra tension and energy trapped in your body. For me, it's worst when I'm concentrating hard with my mind. My mental energy is being expended, which leaves me with unused physical energy that often manifests itself in pulling out my hair.
Take charge of that excess energy. This is my biggest tip. Keep your hands busy doing something other than pulling out your hair. Preferably keep them far away from whatever area you may be tempted to pull. Since I pull out my eyelashes, I keep my hands busy by twirling my hair around and around my fingers. Doing so doesn't give me a chance to start pulling because my hands are so busy doing something else. Obviously, this is probably not the best idea if you're a scalp puller.
I also found an interesting and positive website with a lot of information about trichotillomania. They're trying to get you to enter their program (not for free, of course), but the site is beneficial, I think, even if you just read the info: The BrightLife Center for the Rapid Relief of Trichotillomania.
You are not a victim. It may feel like trichotillomania is controlling your life, pushing you into an unescapable corner. I often feel like that. But you must remember that while suffering from trich is not a choice, taking steps towards relief is.
Take charge of that excess energy. This is my biggest tip. Keep your hands busy doing something other than pulling out your hair. Preferably keep them far away from whatever area you may be tempted to pull. Since I pull out my eyelashes, I keep my hands busy by twirling my hair around and around my fingers. Doing so doesn't give me a chance to start pulling because my hands are so busy doing something else. Obviously, this is probably not the best idea if you're a scalp puller.
I also found an interesting and positive website with a lot of information about trichotillomania. They're trying to get you to enter their program (not for free, of course), but the site is beneficial, I think, even if you just read the info: The BrightLife Center for the Rapid Relief of Trichotillomania.
You are not a victim. It may feel like trichotillomania is controlling your life, pushing you into an unescapable corner. I often feel like that. But you must remember that while suffering from trich is not a choice, taking steps towards relief is.
Saturday, August 2, 2008
Personal Evidence of my Trichotillomania
This is me. It's somewhat hard to tell the damage, because I'm wearing eyeliner, but you can see the big bald patch on my lower lid where there's no eyelashes. And you can see how sparse they are, not full like they should be.
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Trichotillomania: Cycles of Destruction
I've been away from the blog sites for awhile, but I have excuses. I graduated from college in May, then I was job searching. I have a new job now as an editorial assistant, and my life has been in a bit of a whirlwind.
With work comes stress and, unfortunately, sometimes boredom. As an assistant, I don't always have that much to do, and when I'm bored, I pull. Part of editing also involves reading and concentrating. When I read, I pull. So I've been pretty bad lately. I have some bald patches, particularly on my right eyelids, because I started pulling and got into a cycle of destruction.
Life, just like pulling, goes in cycles. Cause and effect. Every element of the cycle affects another, and more often than not, brings us back to the beginning.
Just my profound thought for the day.
With work comes stress and, unfortunately, sometimes boredom. As an assistant, I don't always have that much to do, and when I'm bored, I pull. Part of editing also involves reading and concentrating. When I read, I pull. So I've been pretty bad lately. I have some bald patches, particularly on my right eyelids, because I started pulling and got into a cycle of destruction.
| Pull one eyelash ↓ ↑ Irritate the skin ↓ ↑ Pull more eyelashes because it itches ↓ ↑ Itching worsens ↓ ←←←←←←←←←←← |
Life, just like pulling, goes in cycles. Cause and effect. Every element of the cycle affects another, and more often than not, brings us back to the beginning.
Just my profound thought for the day.
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Unfortunate realization about Trichotillomania
I've come to an unfortunate realization. I guess in a way I knew it all along, but now that I'm trying to deny myself the "pleasure" of pulling out my eyelashes, I've come to realize that in my convoluted brain, it really is a pleasure pulling out my eyelashes. It feels good. I don't know why it feels good, and it seems counterintuitive for something bad for your body to feel good at the same time. I guess it's the same principle as eating foods that are good for your tastebuds but bad for your arteries.
Evolution hasn't quite worked out all the kinks.
Evolution hasn't quite worked out all the kinks.
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
Happy (belated) anniversary to me!
Tuesday was my 3 year anniversary with my boyfriend, so I thought I would dedicate a post to how he has dealt with me and my trich.
He's similar to my friends in calling attention to my pulling if I'm doing it in front of him. Sometimes he'll take my hands and do something lovey-dovey with them, but sometimes that makes me mad.
When I start to complain to him about pulling out too many eyelashes, he'll remind me of ways I can do something about it, like putting Vaseline on my eyelashes or playing with a hair band.
Mostly he doesn't interfere too much with my struggles with it; he's just there to support me in whatever I need him to do. Really, that's all I need to know.
He's similar to my friends in calling attention to my pulling if I'm doing it in front of him. Sometimes he'll take my hands and do something lovey-dovey with them, but sometimes that makes me mad.
When I start to complain to him about pulling out too many eyelashes, he'll remind me of ways I can do something about it, like putting Vaseline on my eyelashes or playing with a hair band.
Mostly he doesn't interfere too much with my struggles with it; he's just there to support me in whatever I need him to do. Really, that's all I need to know.
Monday, April 7, 2008
Reactions to Trichotillomania
Haven't posted in a few days. Just a quick update about my own trich: I've been doing pretty well. I haven't pulled out any eyelashes for a few days, although I have been tweezing my eyebrows. I don't consider pulling eyebrows as bad for you as eyelashes, though.
The main thought of this post, though, is how people in my life have reacted to me having trich. A friend with trich suggested this idea for a post.
Most of my friends have been supportive. The most common reaction I get when I say I have trichotillomania is, huh? When I explain what it is, most people are initially fascinated. They have never heard of the disorder, and are fascinated that such a thing exists. After a moment, though, most people remember someone they know who has no eyebrows or who pulls out his/her eyelashes or hair.
Some of my closer friends who know about it yell at me or hit me when they see my hand moving toward my face because they know it's so often unconscious for me. Sometimes I thank them for it, and sometimes I get angry. Maybe it's because I'm embarrassed at being caught. I know they are trying to help me.
The person in my life with the reaction most upsetting to me is my mother. She doesn't nag me or yell at me about it, but she sometimes talks to me about how sad it makes her that I pull out my eyelashes. That makes me feel worse than if she would nag me or tell me I'm ugly without eyelashes (okay, that would hurt, too). She constantly urges me to see a psychologist, saying that I can't just pull out my eyelashes my whole life. I tell her that obviously I don't want to do it, but some people DO have it on and off their whole lives. That doesn't mean I'm not trying to stop pulling or at least reduce it. Sometimes disappointment and sadness hurts worse than shock or disgust.
Have people had similar experiences? Completely different ones? I'm interested to hear your stories!
The main thought of this post, though, is how people in my life have reacted to me having trich. A friend with trich suggested this idea for a post.
Most of my friends have been supportive. The most common reaction I get when I say I have trichotillomania is, huh? When I explain what it is, most people are initially fascinated. They have never heard of the disorder, and are fascinated that such a thing exists. After a moment, though, most people remember someone they know who has no eyebrows or who pulls out his/her eyelashes or hair.
Some of my closer friends who know about it yell at me or hit me when they see my hand moving toward my face because they know it's so often unconscious for me. Sometimes I thank them for it, and sometimes I get angry. Maybe it's because I'm embarrassed at being caught. I know they are trying to help me.
The person in my life with the reaction most upsetting to me is my mother. She doesn't nag me or yell at me about it, but she sometimes talks to me about how sad it makes her that I pull out my eyelashes. That makes me feel worse than if she would nag me or tell me I'm ugly without eyelashes (okay, that would hurt, too). She constantly urges me to see a psychologist, saying that I can't just pull out my eyelashes my whole life. I tell her that obviously I don't want to do it, but some people DO have it on and off their whole lives. That doesn't mean I'm not trying to stop pulling or at least reduce it. Sometimes disappointment and sadness hurts worse than shock or disgust.
Have people had similar experiences? Completely different ones? I'm interested to hear your stories!
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
Trichotillomania Suggestion, seemingly obvious
I've found the simplest act sometimes works to stop or at least delay pulling. Especially if you're in the middle of a pulling spree.
My suggestion, obvious as it may seem, is to change something about your environment. When I'm pulling eyelashes, sometimes I have to get up and take my contact lenses out. Maybe sit up if you are lying down. File your nails. Put on a ring. Change your hairstyle. Put on hand lotion. Take a shower.
Pulling is all about the repetition, the monotony. Break the pattern and take control by changing something that you have control over.
My suggestion, obvious as it may seem, is to change something about your environment. When I'm pulling eyelashes, sometimes I have to get up and take my contact lenses out. Maybe sit up if you are lying down. File your nails. Put on a ring. Change your hairstyle. Put on hand lotion. Take a shower.
Pulling is all about the repetition, the monotony. Break the pattern and take control by changing something that you have control over.
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